Puppies

The idea of getting a puppy is always a great thought, especially for someone who has always had one. Our last dog, Sasha, has been gone now 2 years and the house has seemed a little empty, or as empty as it can feel with three small boys thinking their life is one long episode of romper room. Now I was all for getting another dog but when the subject is brought up by the entire family, ready to dive in head first, I felt as if someone needed to be the voice of reason.

This in and of itself is a ridiculous suggestion. Anyone who knows us knows that all decision making is either approved (usually her ideas) or vetoed (me and the boys ideas) by my wife. She has supreme veto power even in the face of 4 to 1 odds, no two thirds majority here. So now you are probably thinking, why are you using democratic terminology to explain what clearly is an autocracy? Well, we all need a little bit of hope, right?

Anyway my wife and I have an invisible dance we do when certain subjects come up. I think it is mainly on big ticket items where down the road a ways there may be some buyers remorse, and if that happens then I am in the boat up the creek with her to share the burden. (Really pretty crafty, maybe even diabolical on her part) We will discuss a topic like should we get that new car, or I was looking at this new furniture, or should we get a puppy. Here is where the slight of hand comes in. She actually asks me, what I think and if I think it would be a good idea. This opening salvo serves two purposes. First I am stunned into thinking that I might be involved with making a serious decision and who doesn't like the way that feels. So now I have been blinded with what I conceive as a form of flattery, (oh she knows what buttons to push, am I really that shallow...yes) and am totally off balance. Then she follows up with, well...maybe we shouldn't. AHA! Now I am am making the decision, it is up to me and only me, I'm wide open, no one else around, time to make the big play, everyone is watching. My thought process is this, if I say no I am considered an ogre. If I say yes I will be loved and favored by all the subjects in my court, and who doesn't like the way that feels. I barely notice my wife and kids huddeling up and high fiving. They have me just where they want me. I hear the little voice in my head saying not to quickly, savor the moment, it doesn't come around that often. So it begins...

I don't know....

Please Please Please!!!!! Can't we get one? We'll take care of her. Please Please Pleeeeeease Dad.

They are a big responsibility, you know we would have to find someone to watch her if we wanted to go anywhere.

We'll stay home, we don't need to go anywhere.

You have to feed and get her water.

We already get our own water, that's easy! We all know where the food is, no problem.

I mean get water for the dog and food for the dog. She can't get her own like you guys. (Except 20 minutes after lights out when you all suddenly are hungry and thirsty)

Yes Yes We will do it.

Someone has to pick up after her.

I can pick her up, she is tiny.

No, outside, after she goes the bathroom, someone needs to pick it up. (My poor yard, it was looking great)

Um,....... I'll do it. (Not as many volunteers here, but at least one is stepping out on that ledge)

The delight in everyone's face is multiplying exponentially with every question. They are going to love me forever. Now who is the clever one? I have already made my decision but they hang in the balance. Oh how sweet it is. Well, if you guys promise to take care of her and love her than I guess we could get a puppy. The applause and rejoicing is deafening, I am the greatest father on the planet, drink it up big guy. You have done it!! Finally a decision all by yourself. As the jubilant cheers start to taper off my wife says great here is an address, they have puppies, meet us there at ten. Huh? Just meet us at ten. The next five days is a blur of chew toys, kibble, and puppy cries in the night.

That's how it ends, I have to go now. My boys are playing downstairs in the warmth of our basement while a spring snow storm howls outside. The puppy has had some food and water I gave her, now I have to carry her out in the snow and wait for her to do her business, then pick it up.

And who doesn't like the way that feels?