MAR-LY-VOUS

Here we go again. If you have been tuning in to what's going on around the house lately, you are well aware of our new addition Piper, the family dog. The family has made some adjustments to this new lifestyle, but not much has changed. Oh sure we are minus a few things that have been shredded, torn, and pulverized by the puppy, but that's a small price to pay for the immeasurable amount of joy and happiness that now abounds in the house. Are you catching the sarcasm here? Who knew that all you really need for a puppy to be happy is a box of Pampers diapers? Not the cheapest chew toys on the market.

We have also had a shift in expenses at the store where pre-puppy our 5 gallons of milk per week (the boys are growing like weeds) was the largest amount of liquids purchased. Post-puppy I would say that stain and odor remover has moved into a close second on the liquids list. I still can't wrap my head around the fact that a puppy that small can produce so much "liquid" itself. It also only took a month for me to figure out that when you catch her in the act of relieving herself inside, you shouldn't scream NO at the top of your lungs because now you have two puddles and a snail track to clean up as she scampers away. I already told you I'm a slow learner right?

Well it was time for us to take Piper for her first check-up, and being the humane people we are we decided to go. Big mistake. I did not attend the dog's consultation but was called and told to report to the Pet Dr.'s office. When I arrived the caper was already set into motion, not even all the superheros in the Justice League could stop it now. The three boys were cuddling two gray kittens that were six weeks old, I also noticed, while surveying the crime scene, my wife engaged in a cozy conversation with the pet Dr. who happens to be a fairly good looking guy. Yes, I'm secure enough in my manhood to admit this. It was going something like this: (handsome pet Dr.) I would suggest you feed Piper this one of a kind dog food sold exclusively at our office. (my wife) Oh, OK. (smiling) (handsome pet Dr.) Now that you have decided to "adopt" one of the kittens I recommend this one of a kind kitten food sold exclusively at our office. (my wife) OK, sure. (smiling) (handsome pet Dr. with a charming grin) We also ask for a small donation to the Humane Society to help with the next litter, you know? (my wife) Oh, of course. (still smiling). Even if I had a calculator I wouldn't be able to keep up with the tab that handsome Pet Dr. was un-spooling right before my eyes. At this point I realize that if I were to try and stop this trainwreck, the moment had long passed, it was probably way back on the phone when she asked me to come by the pet Dr.'s, so I am reduced to a shadow on the periphery of my wife's vision as the handsome pet Dr. weaves his tapestry of wonderment. I'll admit it, he is a smooth operator, no pun intended. We probably would have bought one or two of everything in there, maybe even the building, if handsome pet Dr. had suggested this.

Long story short, we load up the dog, the kids, the new bags of animal food, and our new kitten who is named Marley.

Mar-ly-vous, just Mar-ly-vous.