Band of Brothers

I don't want you to get the wrong idea about my boys from the last blog. They will mix it up with each other over some pretty mundane things like who gets the blue light saber vs the red light saber, not letting the other finish the story they have started or finishing it for them, or even who got to feed the dog last, but nothing on the planet will unite them quicker than a battle with their father.

Seeing how they are getting larger, and their combined weight is now more than mine, I usually try to take them on one or two at a time. This never lasts very long though, I am puzzled at how I can yell upstairs non-stop for ten minutes and they can't hear me but they can be in the basement with the X-box cranked and sense when one has thrown down the gauntlet and decided that today might be the day to take out the old man. They all come running like they stole something.

I can usually hear them coming and prepare for the assault, you know, figure out where I'm going to throw the first one, decide who gets the scissor lock, and who will have to suffer the double wrist clench. But as they get older their tactics have started to evolve. I blame the Jurassic Park movies, they now attack like velociraptors. One stands in front of me, not close enough to engage, but close enough to distract, then the others start closing in from the sides. If I am not careful and show one of them my back, it is over. It's like walking into the primate exhibit at the zoo with bananas in your pockets. Lots of high pitched shreiks, bodies flying from every direction, and furniture being displaced.

Don't feel sorry for me just yet, I can still take them. The couple times the scale started to tilt I was rescued by my wife as she never lets the skirmishes last very long. But don't feel sorry for them either, they are starting to adapt an anything goes, all or nothing, leave it all on the floor mentality. They are not above jumping on my back and trying to choke me out, or using their innocence claiming they don't know what a "crotch" shot is.

I am not fooling myself, I know that sooner or later the big kid on the block gets what is coming to him, I'm just trying to stave that off for as long as possible. I have to go now, I need to re-new my gym membership and start my cardio program, the Band of Brothers will be out of school soon.